BY Senushi Liyanarachchi
Dear diary,
Between Luca and I, it seems like I’m the only one attempting to keep our relationship platonic. Honestly, both of us saw it coming, but maybe he took my inaction as a green light. He asked me out- properly this time, not just for lunch like every other day, but out. Like, for dinner type of ‘out’. He told me all about it, eyes wide and twinkling. It’s the same restaurant my father used to take my mother to on anniversaries, the same restaurant where high-profile businesspeople take their trophy wives; where an hour would cost me half of what I earn in a week. A place like that is not for someone like me, not out of self pity, but because it stands for everything I’ve been running from becoming- my parents. The worst part, though, is that I’d actually really like to go out with Luca. Suggesting a new place is easy enough, but everything becomes complicated when the person you’re making these plans with is your boss. I stayed quiet about the promotion, mainly because I’m not certain as to how it eventuated. This, however, feels like we’re crossing a line. This could cost me my job. I can’t justify risking my entire career for an undoubtedly fleeting romance. So, naturally, I turned him down. It’s true, I’d love to partake in the dating scene again, but I’m only young for so long. In my eyes, this is the perfect time to climb the career ladder. Maybe, when I’m 30, I could be creative director. My financial strains would ease and I could finally take Sunil and Deepa travelling. I can see us at the Empire State Building, the Tokyo Tower, cycling the streets of Amsterdam. There’s no reason why I can’t find someone a little later in life. I know it’s not the same, but I feel that love exists all around me. I feel an indescribable amount of love when I look at my children, or when I take my walks in the park, where oak trees line the path. I’m overjoyed when I start a new book, feeling the fresh pages underneath my fingertips. Do I truly have to have a romantic connection in order to feel fulfilled? I think I can afford to delay romance a little while longer…
Anika.
Note: Dear Diary is a fictional feature article written by Senushi Liyanarachchi, a passionate writer based in Australia. Senushi’s fictional character is Anika, a single mum, battling through life’s storms.
